mom’s fault

just got off the phone with my mom, who called to express her concern about the “putting things where the sun don’t shine” metaphors in my last post. she apparently objects to offensive language of any kind on this blog, because she views my site through the lens of an editor of instructional textbooks for preteens. i informed her that an expression like “stick it up your ass” is rather mild in the context of pop culture, and that if any of my ten year old cousins actually do read this site, they are unlikely to be encountering this language for the first time. but in any case, this is an adult site, there are no animated pictures of barney or thomas the train on here, and i find it unlikely that her suspected target audience’s gnat-like attention is going to be held by some middle-aged bald guy ranting about the deceitfulness of a much older fatter bald guy (dick cheney).
at the beginning of the conversation, it was sort of like, i have a major psychological disorder manifesting itself as an anal fixation, exacerbated by what she suspects may be an over-exposure to the particularly butt-oriented culture of the san francisco bay area. as we wended our way through our chat, she worked it back around to it being her fault. (as my irish-cum-jewish mother always does). she should never have allowed me to read kurt vonnegut at such an early age. so if anyone takes offense at any of the language on this site, please direct your letters of complaint to my mom.